I am the first to admit that I have not been very Lenten this Lent. Come to think of it, I wasn't last Lent either. In both cases I use the lame excuse that circumstances beyond my control made my life Lenten without me even trying (last year it was the nine week premature delivery of our son Benjamin, this year turmoil with my mentally ill sister). Every year I do go to Stations on Good Friday. And I took John-Paul, the 3.5 year old, a couple weeks back on a Friday night. While it was a good experience for him, it was less than "spiritual" for me. I spent the whole time with him on my lap in the back explaining things to him. Now I am trying to figure out if I should take him with me today. Benjamin will be there, so I'll distracted enough already. So, do I take JP and hope he gets something out of it or do I leave him at his grandmother's and hope to get something from the experience myself? Of course, he'd rather be at Grandma's house.
Why does it seem you sacrifice your own spiritual attentiveness in order to properly teach your children how to behave properly? Neither have ever been left in the nursery during Mass (much to the chagrin of the one usher who every week would tell me where the nursery was when I would be walking the halls outside the Church trying to get Benjamin calmed down when he was much younger.) I am proud to say both boys can sit through Mass without too much of a problem, but when was the last time I actually was able to pay attention to the entire Mass? Ah, Palm Sunday, when I left the kids home with Daddy. And even then, not as much as I would have liked. Hm, maybe the kids are just an excuse for my own wandering mind. And as far as distractions are concerned, they are cute ones.
Oh, and I left John-Paul with Grandma. Next year I'll take him (and no doubt leave Benjamin with Mom.)
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