Those damn cats!

As I begin to feel myself lose my grip on the very end of the rope I am hanging onto trying to do what I must in the aftermath of my mother's death in December, I realize I really need to prioritize the things in my life.

The issue at this time? Trying to find homes for her two cats. I was able to bribe one of the cats into a no-kill shelter. He decided to play his "meanest and worst cat that ever walked on the face of the earth" when we walked into the cattery at said shelter. I am home now, two days later, listening to him meow. If he is not meowing to get outside (which means he will go right back to mom's house), he is hissing or growling at the most laid back cat in the world, Knobby. I should mention I am allergic to cats, but had decided to sacrifice my own health to care for my mother's beloved cats. But I discovered something in the three days he (the cat, his name is Tiger) has been in our house. I am not the only one allergic to cats. Evidently so our my boys, and evidently Knobby does not bother them either. So I am pulled between trying to either provide or continue to find a home for Tiger and Sam (who is still at mom's, but I had thought we'd bring him over soon too) or protecting the health of my children.

Obviously, the kids come first.

But that does not answer what to do with the cats. Leave them at mom's, hoping that with each passing day they do not get more and more "wild" from very little human contact, in hopes eventually someone want a cat who saw a poster I have hung up somewhere? Drop them off at the pound or some other place that will most certainly destroy them both and directly defy what my mother would want for them? Take them myself to the vet to have them destroyed, comforting myself that at least I was with them when they died? But having to pay the hefty euthanasia fees?

It is not as easy as it sounds. Any way I chose to go, I am left with a huge helping of guilt. I cried before taking Tiger to the no-kill shelter, I felt so guilty. My mother died less than two months ago. The thing that brings me to tears should not be what to do with her damn cats, but the grief of missing her. And there is some more guilt! I cannot even get my tears to respect my priorities.

I guess the stress and tears over finding homes for these two cats helps me keep my mind off the fact that my mother, who was such a huge part of my life and the lives of my children is gone.